Version 1.1, by Dan Orner (email@example.com)
Although short, this game is a laugh and a half, or possibly even
However, for those who are not fans of Terry Pratchett's convoluted
world... WHY THE HELL DID YOU BUY THIS!?
Just kidding. For those people, you may want a bit of background for the people,
places and things which you'll be seeing in this game. The game is surprisingly
to the series, with only a few abberrations in sight - an impressive
Let's get started.
The world on which Pratchett's 20+ book series takes place on is not a sphere
ours. It's a disc. Hence the name, for those slow of mind, "Discworld". Although
peoples get rid of the following mythology sooner or later, the Discworld is
on the backs of four giant elephants, who are themselves standing on the shell
Great A'tuin, the space turtle. Philosophers are still struggling with the
questions this entails, such as, "If the Disc is turning, why don't the
backs get friction burns?" and, "Just what SEX is that turtle, anyway?"
Lacking two directional poles, the Discworld's north and south are replaced by
"Hubward" (toward the center of the world) and "Rimward" (toward the edge of the
Disc). The other two directions are "Turnwise" (along with the Disc's spinning
direction) and "Widdershins". Note that these last two are curved directions and
straight. If would you walk long enough in a straight line Turnwise, you'd
be headed directly Rimward. By the way, the water at the edge of the Rim just
off the edge. Theories about the conservation of water have all tried to explain
the sea still exists, but none of them make any cohesive sense.
The Discworld is a world of magic and every kind of demon, monster and mythical
creature you've ever imagined, including dwarves, trolls, vampires, bogeymen,
zombies, dryads, etc. Magic even has its own color, octarine, invisible to
At the Hub of the Discworld is the great city of Dunmanifestin, which sits on
sky mountain of Cori Celesti. It's a Valhalla on
weed. The home of the gods is where they play their games with mankind. The gods
led by Blind Io, who has no eyes in his head but plenty floating around
The only other god of any consequence in the series is Offler the crocodile god,
whose large incisors make talking without a pronounced lisp an impossibility.
The main thrust of the story of Mortality Bytes is loosely based on "Reaper Man"
touches of "Mort". This game is obviously not part of the storyline but a
mass of everything. Proof? By the time "Reaper Man" was written, the
already had a specific personality and name, as opposed to the one in the game.
However, the Death of Rats only appears after "Reaper Man" is finished! There
other proofs, as well, but you're not interested in them. The other quests
in the game involve aspects from "Pyramids", "Equal Rites", "Moving Pictures",
And Ladies", and "The Last Continent".
Djelibeybi - Ancient Egypt
Klatch - Arabia
The Agatean Empire - The Orient
XXXX - Australia
Everything else - England
Elena of Tsort - Helen Of Troy
Ly Tin Wheedle - Confuscious
The Hogfather - Santa Claus
The Soul Cake Duck - The Easter Bunny
Crossbows - Guns (This is due to a story necessity from "Men At Arms")
The homeland of three out of four major storylines in Discworld:
Death, and The Guard. (The last one, Witches, is based in Lancre.) In the early
novels, Ankh-Morpork is said to be a "twin city" and even has a seperate
for both parts, but this trait is never talked about after this.
A sort of parody of the London slums, Ankh-Morpork symbolizes the law outside
law, where the city is ruled by a Patrician but run by Guilds. There are Guilds
everything, even thieves, assassins, and beggars. The upshot is that policemen
needed that much - any non-Guild members caught practicing are taken care of by
Guilds themselves. The Patrician, Lord Vetinari, is quite possibly the most
man on the Disc. With this sort of parody, you can imagine how the slums
(The Shades) look - let's just say that even the murderers are afraid for their
The river Ankh, from which the city gets part of its name, is unrecognizable as
after it passes through the Ankh-Morporkian sewer system. The rowing contests
done with special shoes and fast runners. No one dares to drink it for fear that
there really might be things worse than death.
Free enterprise is the name of the game in Ankh-Morpork. Any invading barbarians
caught up in ridiculous economic mergers as soon as they arrive and eventually
blend into the system as yet another minority, without quite realizing just how
The Unseen University, home of the Wizards, was once one of the most dangerous
around. Then something very nasty and magical happened, and it quieted down.
called a university, students are seldom seen around the premises; all the
wizards try to avoid them, and vice versa. They only exist because without them
couldn't really call it a university, could you? The wizards' favorite pastimes:
Eating, prying into dangerous and unknown [insert plural noun here], and making
and nonsensical comments about anything and everything. Oh, and going mad.
No, it's not "Jelly Baby". The Disc's answer to ancient Egypt had a single book
itself, "Pyramids", and promptly disappeared from view (literally, for a bit).
are over 1500 pyramids in Djelibeybi, and they have their own city: a
Every dawn, the pyramids shoot off the accumulated time which has built up in
center of the pyramid, where the dead king/queen/whatever is buried. Due to the
pyramid's geometric shape (this is a shamelessly cheap plot idea) time can be
down or stopped in the center of it. This keeps the mummies from rotting, and
the kings from dying". This is why they always talk of dead kings in the present
tense. (Time can also be sped up in a pyramid, although this is only taken
of in this game.)
Djelibeybi is a fertile valley between Ephebe and Tsort, and acts as a strategic
counterbalance by not letting either side through. (The Disc's Trojan War was
out between those two nations a few thousand years ago, and neither side has
forgotten it... although just which side the girl was on has become rather a
Erected for "Motion Pictures", there's nothing here but a bunch of sets and
A very small town with a very small-town attitude, this is the home of the three
witches, the leader of whom is Granny Weatherwax.
This continent was kept out of the story for the greater part of the series. It
only at the end of "Interesting Times" that Pratchett decided that it would be a
Discworld Australia. It then merited its own book in "The Last Continent".
in that book it's pronounced as "EcksEcksEcksEcks" specifically, the game calls
"FourEcks" for some reason. (Actually, Death does call it FourEcks, but that's
We see this a few times in the Death storyline books. Death doesn't know how to
color that well - the only color you'll see besides shades of black are the
cornfields. The bees are black and skeletal, the fish are skeletons, and
else is also just BLACK. Death tries to make concessions to humanity. He makes
umbrella stand, although he has no umbrellas, a bedroom although he doesn't
comb although he has no hair, and a bathroom although he doesn't answer Nature's
call. Only where Albert, his very old servant, and his daughter are concerned,
there any hint of real humanity in this place.
There are two large rooms in this house (almost infinite size). The larger one
contains autobiographies: people's life stories, which write themselves as the
live. This room is larger because it also stores the life stories of all the
people. The second room contains lifetimers, the sands of people's lives falling
to the end of their existence. There's also a special hidden chamber which
the lifetimers of the gods and creatures of belief like the Hogfather
Santa Claus) and the Tooth Fairies.
The anti-hero of many of Pratchett's novels. His first and only reaction when
with any situation that looks like it might think about becoming dangerous in
near future, is to run away. Fast. Don't bother with the TO, when the FROM holds
fascination. A complete failure at wizardry, he nevertheless clings to his creed
because he can't fathom himself doing anything else. Has a sequined pointy hat
says "WIZZARD" on it. For some reason, everything bad in the world always
him. His lifetimer is so twisted and coiled that Death is sure Rincewind should
died long ago, but he can't prove it. Because of his experience with the world,
Rincewind sees most things from an outside view and has a very cynical outlook.
Originally worked as assistant to the Librarian.
Made of sentient pearwood, this was given to Rincewind by his dear friend (read:
annoying acquaintance) Twoflower. The Luggage can hold anything, no matter how
the mass. It's also carnivorous and eats almost anything that starts up with it,
matter how many sharp bits it's got. It walks around on hundreds of little legs
it can retract at will. Comes from the Agatean Empire on the Counterweight
Yes, he's just an anthropomorphic personification of
a natural event occuring all the time, but he has feelings too... or at least
to. His domain is completely wannabe. He tries to understand humans, but never
manages. He adopts a daughter at some time in his existence. (!) Only wizards
suchlike can see Death while still alive - and they'll know it's him because he
ALWAYS TALKS LIKE THIS. He can walk through walls, too, and still doesn't quite
the idea of doorknobs.
In the very first book, "The Colour Of Magic", the Librarian of Unseen
transformed into an orangutan by a freak magical accident. He's very fond of his
form, though, and stops all attempts to change him back, even though his
now consists of "Ook" and, when excited, "Eek!". The extra digits help him in
work. He's also received an affinity for bananas, of course.
This position was very fluid for the first few books until it was taken up by
Ridcully, the country man who just doesn't want to die. (Originally
was a much-coveted position which wizards killed for.) His hobbies are hunting
making people's lives miserable. He wakes up early and goes to bed late.
impervious to basically anything. However, in this game they just use a generic
Also a fluid position until it was taken up by someone who's still just called
Dean". All we really know about him that's different than anyone else is that
really fat and a bit stupid. The game's Dean is regular-sized, just a bit out of
In the series, this guy goes Rain Man - has absolutely no grasp on reality, but
add numbers up like magic. He's gotten some sanity back in the game, apparently.
UU's oldest resident wizard, some crazy age like 140. He can't hear at all and
completely oblivious to what's happening around him. All this changes, of
when he wakes up (or rather, doesn't) one day to discover that he's a zombie.
The aspiring junior wizard, the equivalent of a wizard hacker. He invented Hex,
computer, and can't stand any of the older wizards, who just don't understand a
he says. He is NOT mad, and that little quirk was added by the game designers.
Skazz and Mad Drongo
Have very little lines in the book; the game designers did a good job in
The Traveling Shop
Originally appeared in "The Light Fantastic".
Here's a quote from firstname.lastname@example.org :
A suffragette is a woman who protested, sometimes violently, for women's
rights. The Jester's guild (Guild of Fools and Joculators I think is the
correct name) is an all male guild, so a suffrajester would have to be a
female trying to get into the guild. I guess you would say that it is a pun
or a play on words ;)
The Death Of Rats
All he can say is SQUEAK, and some
people actually understand him. For the ones who don't, he keeps a loudmouthed
around him sometimes.
A psychic who can see the future, she also sometimes leaves her "precognition"
answers your question before you ask it. She keeps a boarding house near the
for characters who might be undesirable elsewhere, like werewolves, vampires,
A tough old witch who can project her mind into that of an animal. She's also
head of the three witches. Nanny Ogg is the second one and the third position is
occupied tenuously by two different people, depending on the book. All three
Lancre. Granny is used as a caretaker for babies sometimes. She uses home
her hometown and disguises them as magic to keep up her image.
The Dead Collector
So far as I know, taken directly from "Monty Python And The Holy Grail".
Foul Ole Ron
Known as the insane beggar's insane beggar, he has the worst stink on the Disc.
trademark phrase is "millenium hand and shrimp". He makes absolutely no sense
the time. He eats boots.
For some reason referred to as "Henry Coffin" in the game. Has the worst cough
Wears rags of fine clothing and has no memory of what he was before he joined
beggaring group. Can't understand why everyone calls him Duck Man as he is
oblivious to the duck who has taken up residence on his head. There's
also another beggar in the group, Arnold Sideways, who has no legs and sits on a
wagon. He was cut out of the game (no pun intended - right!).
The dwarf cook. Specialty: Rats.
Appears in some form or other in almost every Discworld book. The quintessential
entrepreneur, none of Dibbler's goods are ever even remotely clean, or even
recognizable, and yet people find themselves paying a vast sum for the stuff due
what may be the best business skills anywhere in the Disc... that is, besides
Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dhblah, Disembowel-Meself-Honorably Dibhala, Klatch's
Fair Go Dibbler, and numerous others. The whole spectacle revolves around the
that although there are a lot of bodies in the world, there are only a few
Known as Ginger in "Moving Pictures", (original name "Theda Withel") she doesn't
much of a history or a personality asides from being as beautiful as a diamond
with basically the same IQ.
Chuckie And The Jester
Apparently does not appear in any Discworld books, but did appear in the first
game. Thanks to email@example.com for the info.
The Pyramid Architect
Known in "Pyramids" as Ptaclusp. He has a whole subplot to himself in that
novel, but here
he's just for show.
Created just for the game, he is a parody of Uri Geller, a mystic who claims to
be able to
bend spoons with his mind. Thanks to firstname.lastname@example.org for the info.
St. Ungulant and Angus
>From "Small Gods", this hermit lives alone in the desert with his imaginary
We're always a bit hazy on the existence of that incorporeal companion.
A zombie lawyer (can't get much lower than that), Reg thinks it's his duty to
"dead rights" problems all over the Disc. He'd be able to do it better if bits
keep falling off all over the place.
The Count and Countess Nosfaroutoe
A set of middle-class members of society being stuck as high-class vampires.
A quiet banshee, supposedly because of a speech impediment (thanks to
email@example.com), but according to Reg Shoe, he was cured of it and
he now never shuts up.
Really nasty bastards, quite unlike any other story you've heard about them. The
has the power to hypnotize mortals.
Once a great wizard, he's now Death's codgy old servant. He's been serving him
centuries, because duration just doesn't exist in Death's realm. However, he
sometimes takes vacations and uses up his time on Earth.
The daughter of Death's adopted daughter Ysabell. She really doesn't like
the occult parts of her life
and tries to be as sensible as she can. Not to say that she doesn't like her
grandfather, but she likes him better from a distance. She has inherited a few
traits, like being able to make herself invisible, walk through walls, and use a
voice which makes people listen.
I THINK it's supposed to be the Patrician. His talk of bills made me think so...
his personality is definitely not Lord Vetinari's. It fits more with the early
of "The Color Of Magic".
I wonder what the Discworld equivalent of Monty Python is?