Ok everyone, hang on to your seats (and your towels!); this is probably
going to be the wildest adventure game you'll ever play...unless Infocom comes
out with a sequel, which they just might do!
Before we get started, a few words of advice. This is not the only way of
getting through the game. Many of the problems and situations (such as the
whale's belly) have more than one solution. So, you might want to save the
game from time to time, and ex periment a little, to see if you can find other
ways of doing things (actually, it's wise to save the game anyway, in case you
make a mistake).
Also, consult the Guide frequently during play; you will gain some useful
insights to some of the objects you come across, and even some helpful
information (sometimes). And remember, no matter how bad things may look:
Here you are, mild-mannered Arthur Dent, about to start the worst day of
your life, although you don't know that...yet! Actually, the day is already
getting off to a bad start, since you've just woken up in the dark, with a
really bad headache (and it's all downhill from here).
The first thing you need to do is stand up and turn on the light. That's
a little better, anyway! Or maybe not, since you're having a hard time getting
coordinated. Grab the dressing gown and put it on, then look in the pocket.
Ah, an analgesic! Take tha t, then get the screwdriver and the toothbrush, and
head South to the porch (did you hear a tree fall? Rather omnious, isn't it?).
Here you find something no modern home should be without: junk mail. Take
the mail, and go on outside. Uh-oh! There's a very big bulldozer on its way to
level your home, and there's Prosser standing by, watching it all. Are you
going to take this lying d own?
You bet you are! That's the only way to stop it: lie down in front of the
bulldozer. No matter how close the thing gets, don't panic; it won't run you
over (of course, in a short time, it really won't matter what happens to the
house, but you don't know that yet). Just wait awhile until Ford Prefect shows
up (read the junk mail while you wait).
Ford seems a trifle preoccupied with the sky, but he is aware enough of
you to try and give you back your towel. Don't take it, or he'll leave and you
will be a lot worse off than you ever imagined (can things be worse than this?
They sure can!).
Instead of taking the towel, ask Ford about your home. He will eventually
come to his senses, and realize what is going on. When that happens, he will
be able to persuade Prosser to take your place in front of the bulldozer while
the two of you head off to the pub to hoist a few.
As soon as Prosser takes your place, go South and West to the pub. Buy a
cheese (?) sandwich while you wait for him to arrive (when you read the
description, you'll understand about the "?"). When Ford gets there, he'll buy
you a few beers. Drink only th ree of them.
Around about the time you've finished the third one, there will be a loud
crash. In fact, it's the sound of your home being demolished by the bulldozer
(that will teach you to trust anyone who wears a digital watch!). Don't take
that sitting down, leave the pub and return to where your house used to be.
Along the way, you'll see a starving dog.
While you may wonder if anything could eat that sandwich and survive,
give it to the dog, who will (amazingly!) enjoy it immensely, ignoring a
microscopic space fleet that whizzes past (remember that fleet). Then continue
on to the ruins of your home (Fo rd will be right behind you).
And just about now, to put a perfect ending to a perfect day (which has
just barely begun), the Vogon construction ships appear, to demolish the Earth
to make way for a new Hyper-space Bypass (hmmm, maybe Ford wasn't kidding when
he said he was from anot her planet, or that Earth would be destroyed in a
Still, don't panic...wait until Ford drops the Sub-etha signalling
device. There won't be much time after that, so pick up the device, push the
green button (if you dropped the Aunt's thing, have no fear: it will turn up
again later), and you will be in. ...the dark.
Get used to that, you'll be spending a lot of time there before this
adventure is over. Notice that, at first, you can't do much. All your five
senses seem to be out of order. However, if you wait, and read the
descriptions very carefully, you will see t hat eventually, it mentions only 4
of your senses. The one that's missing is the one you can use. Keep this in
mind, it will come in handy later.
Right now, your nose seems to be working again, so smell. Sniff, sniff.
Ugh! Whatever it is, it sure is strong! You are also now dimly aware of a
shadow, so look at it. Well, well, it turns out to be Ford Prefect! And,
looking around, you find yourself i n the hold of a Vogon ship. Certainly
better than being on Earth (or where Earth used to be).
There's a glass case with an Atomic Vector Plotter inside, but don't
bother with it yet. You have something else to do first, namely, obtain a
Babel Fish. That shouldn't be hard, right? All you need to do is push the
button on the dispensing machine, and you'll have one, right? Hehehehehehe!
Those Babel Fish are pretty slippery characters (but, you may have found
that out already for yourself!). And the cleaning robots are certainly no
help; they seem to have only one mission in life: grabbing your Fish away from
you. Well, we really can't l et that happen!
So, first thing to do is remove your gown and hang it on the hook. Now,
wait for Ford to curl up, then get the towel and the satchel. Put the towel
over the drain, and the satchel in front of the robot panel. Now comes the
part that drives most people cr azy: they don't know how to stop the
upper-half-of-the-room cleaning robot. But, it's so simple: just put the junk
mail on top of the satchel.
Now you can push the button! Then step back and watch the Rube Goldberg
shenanigans, which end with the Babel Fish stuck solidly in your ear
(squish!). Bet you never thought outer space would be like this! However, now
that you have the Fish, you'll be a ble to understand anyone who talks to you.
By the way, somewhere along the line, you will get a message that one of
the phrases you've used was instrumental in starting a war that wiped out most
of a small galaxy. There is nothing you can do about this; no matter how you
try, it will come to pass .
Rather unfortunate, isn't it? Even more unfortunate, sooner or later, the
survivors will figure out how that happened, and they will be looking for
revenge....but more about that charming prospect later.
Right now, press the switch on the case. This will tell you what the code
word is that will open the case so you can snatch the plotter. Make careful
note of what word is required; it is chosen randomly each time. Too bad you
have to listen to some prett y rotten poetry to get the word.
Speaking of poetry, in a short while, you and Ford will be hustled into
the Captain's quarters, and strapped into Poetry Appreciation Chairs (worser
things could happen, but right now, you probably can't think of any). After
the Vogon Captain has torture d you with the first verse, grit your teeth and
enjoy the poetry. He will then, to your dismay, read you the next verse.
While you could easily live without hearing it, in this case, you do need
to listen so you know the word to type in. Fortunately, after the second
verse, you don't have to enjoy the poetry. Unfortunately, since you survived
both verses, the Captain is go ing to have you and Ford shoved out the airlock
(you have now found something worse than appreciating Vogon poetry).
While Ford tries to talk the guard out of spacing the two of you, type in
the word from the poem. You must put quotes around the word, or it won't go
through. Then get the plotter when the case opens. Now just wait awhile, and
you and Ford will soon be i n the airlock, with very little time left.
In fact, time has just run out, and there you are in the depths of space.
Lucky for you, the Guide explained how to survive all of 30 seconds out there!
Well, perhaps not so lucky, since, considering the vastness of space, it's
quite improbable that anot her ship will come by to pick you up before the 30
seconds run out. So naturally, 29 seconds later, the Heart of Gold (the HOG)
comes past and picks you up.
There you are in the dark again. Wait and watch the display, until it no
longer says you can't hear. Then listen, and you will hear the sound of the
star drive. Now it gets cute: the program will lie to you, and say there is an
exit to port. Don't you be lieve it! Go Aft instead, and you will be in Entry
Bay 2. You can ignore the brochure, if you like.
Go Aft again, and you're in the Fore End of the corridor. Here, Ford will
find you you, and take you up to the bridge, where you meet Zaphod and
Trillian. Actually, you've seen them both before, at a party you attended a
short time ago. While you listen to the chatter between Zaphod and Ford, you
can begin to drop some items here.
You can drop the plotter, screwdriver, gown, and signalling device. By
this time, everyone else has gone to the sauna, leaving you alone on the
Bridge with Eddie, the shipboard computer. Don't mind Eddie, he's a little
over-protective, but he's a good so rt at heart. In fact, you can pretty much
ignore him, as well as Marvin the Paranoid Robot, although Marvin will be
important much later on (depressing as that may sound).
Ok, time to prepare for some pretty weird happenings! First you'll need
the spare improbability drive. So, go down, then Aft. Keep going Aft. The
program will tell you that the Engine Room is dangerous. It LIES! Don't listen
to it, just keep going Aft. E ventually, you'll get there.
Of course, as soon as you're there, you'll want to look around. The
program will tell you there is nothing to see. That, too, is a lie! Keep
looking, and you'll find that there are some things to see here, especially
the spare drive. Don't worry about th e tools for now; you can leave them
where they are.
Once you have the drive, go back to the Fore End corridor, then head Port
where you'll find the Nutrimat (try consulting the Guide about the Nutrimat).
Touch the pad, and you will be provided with a delicious (?) cup of advanced
tea substitute. Fortunate ly, you don't have to drink it. Take the cup (ignore
the carton, it's useless) and return to the bridge.
Drop the cup and the drive. Now, plug the small plug in to the small
receptacle, and put the plotter's dangly bit into the tea substitute. Ok, you
are about to have some pretty strange experiences, but before you throw the
switch, some words of advice an d caution.
There are five scenarios (all rather short, but all of them important),
that have to be completed. They come up in random order, so each one has its
own little section of the walkthru. The lead-in to each of them is that
familiar dark area, where you hav e to wait until one of your senses is
working again. You will be in the dark area again when the scenario ends (and
you will have to listen for the drive sound), which will then bring you back
to the HOG.
Also, be aware there are times that you may briefly go back to one of the
scenarios you have already completed. You just sort of bounce in and out of
those, but you do have to spend time waiting in the dark. I couldn't find a
way around this, so you'll j ust have to live with it. Finally, it's a good
idea to save the game after you complete each scenario, just in case. With
that said, it's time, so push the switch!
The Bugblatter Beast
When you come out of the dark, you find yourself in the Lair of the
dreaded Bugblatter Beast. There are, perhaps, better places you could wish
yourself to be in, considering that, among its many charms, the Bugblatter has
those tungsten-carbide vast-pain claws (perhaps he was a dentist in a previous
However, you are here for a purpose, so you'll just have to do something
about the Beast. Consulting the Guide tells you that Bugblatters are
incredibly stupid, which is certainly the case. In the meantime, the Beast is
bearing down on you, demanding you r name. Don't be shy, introduce yourself,
then run like heck East out of the Lair.
Pick up one of the sharp stones, and then cover your head with the towel.
Old Buggy is so dumb, he thinks that, since you can't see him, he can't see
you. But, this won't last for very long, so you have to fool him, and quickly.
Lucky for you, this isn't hard.
Carve your name on the Bugblatter's memorial. When he sees the name
there, he will think he's already eaten you, which is why he can't see you
(dumb may be an understatement here). The Beast will then curl up for a nap,
leaving you free (after removing t he towel!) to re-enter the Lair and then go
Here you will find the skeleton of some poor soul clutching a Nutrimat
Computer Interface Card. Take the card, and just wait around for awhile. You
will be mistakenly captured as a Bugblatter Beast (talk about insults!), but
you will eventually be freed, and have some other adventures along the way,
before you find yourself back in the dark again.
When you get back to the HOG, you can drop the asteroid paint chipper and
the interface card in the Fore End before going up to the Bridge (you'll need
the interface later, but there's no need to drag it around with you now). Once
on the Bridge, push the switch again, and you'll be back in the dark.
The dark ends with something liquidy to the touch. In fact, you find your
fingers bathing in a glass of wine. Coming to your senses, you realize that
you are now Trillian, and you are at the party where you (she?) met both
Arthur and a mysterious man nam ed Phil.
Take a good look at Arthur, and you will see he has a huge ball of fluff
on his jacket. Just what you want, but your hands are full. Drop the plate
you're holding, and get the fluff. Open your handbag and put the fluff in it,
then get the plate again (ot herwise, the pushy hostess won't leave you
Now, all you need to do is wait, trying not to be bored to tears by
Arthur's feeble attempts at conversation. Give Phil a look, and shortly he
will come over, and take you out to his scooter. As you blast off, everything
once again becomes.....dark.
Now you find yourself standing in a country lane, holding a satchel. The
place looks familiar. In fact, it's the lane outside Arthur's home, and this
time you seem to be Ford Prefect.
Those Vogons will be arriving soon, so there's not much time. Open the
satchel, and take the satchel fluff, the towel, and the sub-etha signalling
device. Go North, and there you will see Arthur lying in front of the
With a certain feeling of deja vu, you offer him the towel. However,
instead of taking it, he asks you about his home. You suddenly realize what is
going on (not that it really matters, considering what will shortly happen!).
In a moment of magnanimity ( or possibly madness), you decide to take Arthur
hitchhiking with you.
But first, you have to deal with Prosser. Go over to him, and ask him to
lie down in front of the bulldozer. He'll make a little fuss, but you'll
manage to persuade him. Now, you and Arthur can hurry over to the pub, and
drink some beer (remember to buy peanuts).
Sit there, drinking your beer (no more than three!), meditating on why
Arthur is taking the imminent demise of the world so calmly, until the house
falls and Arthur goes tearing out.
Follow him to the ruins of his home. Drop the satchel, and put the
satchel fluff on top of it. Now wait. The Vogon ships will appear, the winds
will pick up, and you'll start fumbling with the device.
Oops! You just dropped it! Fortunately, it rolls over by Arthur, who
picks it up and looks at it. Also fortunately, Arthur manages to push the
right button, and everything becomes....dark.
You come out of the dark to find that you're now Zaphod Beeblebrox, the
Presi dent of the Universe. In fact, you're on your way to steal the Heart of
Gold (with a little help from Trillian).
As your speedboat zooms towards its destination, search the seat
carefully and you will find seat fluff and a key. The key opens the toolbox,
but you don't need to do that now. Just make sure you take the box; you might
be needing it later.
Now, if you continue on your present course, you'll never make it between
the cliffs and the spire (or maybe you know that already). The trick is to
make the auto-pilot do the hard work, so steer the boat towards the rocky
The spire gets closer...closer....closer....and then, at last! the
auotpilot wakes up, just in time, and steers you to safety! Whew, that was a
close one. Ok, now you can stand up and go North to the Dais, where the
dedication ceremonies will be held.
Wait around, enjoying the cheers of the crowd (read the banner if you
like), until Trillian appears. She will jump out of the crowd, and hold a gun
to one of your heads. The guards are a little hesitant about what to do, so
now's your chance: tell them n ot to shoot.
After a few moments, they will drop their rifles into a pile..just what
you've been waiting for. Tell Trillian to shoot the rifles. As the weapons
disappear, you and Trillian make a break for the HOG! You made it!!
But...everything seems to be getting... .dark.
The War Room
Ah ha, fooled ya! I bet when you heard the sound of the star drive, you
thought you were back on the HOG. But, surprise! you're in the War Room of a
mighty war fleet approaching Earth (at least you're yourself this time!).
Hmmmm, looking around, you see an ultra-plasmic awl. Pick that up, since
it might come in handy later. Now, take a good look at the aliens. They are
Vl'hurg and G'guvunt. Sound familiar? Ring any bells? Remember that small
galaxy you pretty much wiped ou t with your careless words?
Well, they finally figured out what happened, and now they are on their
way to Earth to take revenge! (Uh oh) You can't really stop them, so just wait
around and hope for the best.
The fleet gets closer and closer, and then arrives. Amazingly, the first
thing they see is....a huge dog happily munching a cheese (?) sandwich! The
sight of this giant monster, contentedly eating, softens the hearts of the
Vl'hurgs and G'guvunts.
With a new mission in life, they turn around and go home. Along the way,
they transport you back to the HOG. Unfortunately, since the aliens are
microscopic, so are you.....and you end up materializing inside your own head!
But wait....maybe there is a madness in this method, after all (or is
that the other way around?). Move along the mazy of synapses (any direction
will do, they're all alike), until you come to the particle.
Look at the particle, and you will see it's your common sense. If there's
one thing you surely don't need in THIS adventure, it's common sense, so take
the particle. Whoops! Everythig just went.....dark.
Ok, now you should have collected the four fluffs, the ultra-plasmic awl,
the paint chipper, the nutrimat computer interface, and the tool box. After
you have done the last scenario (whichever one that is), don't go back to the
Bridge. Pick up the interf ace, and go to the Nutrimat. It's tea time!
Open the panel on the Nutrimat, remove the circuit board, and replace it
with the interface. Now, touch the pad. With a clearer idea of just what it is
you want, the Nutrimat begins to have some problems. Its own limited circuitry
can't handle it (well, it's just a dumb machine, after all), so it ties into
the main shipboard computer.
Don't spend time here watching the Nutrimat go through its gyrations.
Head for the bridge, and plug the large plug into the large receptacle. The
moment is almost here: the HOG has arrived at the legendary lost planet of
Magrathea, and the natives aren't friendly.
In fact, they are sending up a bunch of missiles to vaporize the HOG
(hmmm, they really AREN'T friendly!). Now, push the switch on the spare drive.
Wow! Talk about improbabilities! The missiles have turned into a giant sperm
After accepting the congratulations of Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian (who
conveniently disappear into the sauna again), return to the Nutrimat, where
you will find, at last, a cup of REAL tea. Get the cup (you will drop the No
Tea), but don't drink it!! Bri ng it to the Bridge.
Drop the real tea (you will automatically pick up the No Tea). Remove the
dangly bit from the tea substitute, and put it in the real tea. You have one
more little trip to make. First, however, drop everything you are carrying
except the Babel Fish and th e Aunt's Thing (yes, you have it again, you just
can't get rid of it).
Push the switch on the Drive. After a short stay in the dark, you will
find yourself in the whale's tummy (it may, however, take more than try to get
here, but you will make it eventually). There's a flowerpot here! Get the pot,
and put it in the Aunt's Thing. Now, wait around (you really don't have a
choice), and soon you will be in the dark again.
Ah, back on the HOG at last. If you take inventory, you'll notice you
don't have the Aunt's Thing. Don't panic! It will, as always, turn up. In the
meantime, go around picking up the various fluffs. The Zaphod fluff, along
with the tool box, will be by t he hatch. Trillian's, of course, is in her
handbag, and Ford's is on the satchel, and the last one is in the pocket of
your gown (unless you took it out earlier and dropped it somewhere).
The Aunt's Thing has reappeared by now, so go up to the Bridge. Take the
flowerpot, plant all four fluffs, drop the pot, and wait awhile. When you see
a tiny sprout has formed, take the pot into the sauna. When you emerge, a
changed man, you will also ha ve a changed plant.
However, there is another problem! The HOG has landed on Magrathea, but
Eddie, overprotective as usual, has jammed the hatch shut. And, he's not going
to open it, no matter how long it takes him to check for dangers on the planet
(which will be quite a f ew years).
You are almost ready! First, eat the fruit from the plant (mmm, tasty!).
You have a vision, and pay close attention to it: the vision shows you what
tool Marvin will need to open the hatch. This varies from game to game, and
there is no way to know which one it is until you eat the fruit. That is also
why you have to collect all those tools. Get the tool that you saw in the
vision. If it happens to be one you haven't seen yet, then you'll find it in
The trick now is to find Marvin, and he's in his pantry, behind the
screening door. First, get the real tea. You automatically drop the No Tea.
But, you don't have your common sense anymore, so....pick up the No Tea! Now,
you have both Tea and No Tea at the same time!!
Go to the Screening Door. Open it. The Door, impressed by your being able
to have both Tea and No Tea will let you through! However, WAIT!!! Don't go
through the door yet! If you set foot in the pantry, you will be overwhelmed
by depression! So, that mag ic moment has arrived, the moment you've been
waiting for ever since you left Earth: drink the real tea!! (Ahhhhhh, good to
the last drop!)
All right! Now you can go into the Pantry (yay)! Marvin will be there,
sulking as usual. Tell him to fix the hatch. Marvin will grumble, but he will
agree to it, and tell you to meet him at the Hatch Access Space, with the
proper tool, in twelve moves.
As you already have the tool (thanks to the fruit), you can go directly
to the Access space (drop everything but the tool and the Fish), and wait for
Marvin. When he arrives and asks for the tool, give it to him. Marvin will
fiddle briefly, and the hatch will slide open.
Go out to the Hatch, and then down the Hatch. Wow! You have now set foot
on the legendary lost planet of Magrathea, and........
And what comes next, will have to wait for the sequel (and let's hope it
isn't too long a wait!!!)!