Ha! You can't overview a plot like this. Some big guy
you'll fight at the
end is taking over the universe as you know it, and, guess what, you've got to
stop him. Such an original plot. The standard twist on this plot? You're a
woman. I had serious reservations about this, fearing that
Westwood had started
to produce "The Perils of Rosella" shit, but I fell in love
with blonde Zanthia.
She's one hot babe, and if she showed up at my door, I'd have no choice but to
make her one happy lady. Of course, I played it for eight hours straight, and
by the end of the night I was thinking Patch was looking kind of cute, too.
The first half is great - I have never had as much fun with this kind of
game - but after that, it just went down the tubes into a "click on shit until
something happens" game (can we say King's Quest, Mrs. Williams?). Still, one
hot babe and some occasional flashes of brillance gave me the will to survive,
but I was so frustrated we decided to help all y'all with this handy solve.
I recommend you talk to everyone in the game, or you'll miss the plot.
What I've given you here is only the actions to complete the game and a few
sarcastic comments. Enjoy the game, faults and everything, because soon Hard
Vacuum (tm) will come and all your gaming desires will be fulfilled. In the
meantime, DarkStarr will bring you docs that make sense with a sense of humor,
something you'll find nowhere else. Have fun.
*** Part One:
You begin talking to Faun. Yeah, whatever. When you're in the lab, get
the flask from under the rug and the second flask from the
bookshelf. If you're
really bored, get the blueberries.
N. pick up the shroom.
W. look in the stump, and in traditonal Sierra-style is hidden your spell-
N. get the gnarlybark and the onion
N. talk to the ferryman if you're bored. He's meaningless.
E. get the second onion, talk to Marko the Moron, token love interest.
S. Ever play Electronic Simon? Same thing here. Click on a bug. The bug
will light up like a Christmas light and sound a tone.
Click on it again.
The bug will light up, then a second time. Click on both, in the order
they flashed. This stupidity continues until all you've clicked on all
seven, when they go into a mating frenzy and play a funky tune. *** YOU
MUST WRITE THE ORDER OF COLORS DOWN *** don't fuck with me here, I beat
this game in eight hours and I'm not going to take your crap. Trust me.
You're going to need this twice more.
W. this should be a three-way path with a house at the
top. That's Herb. Get
the feather from the nest if you like meaningless possesions, but click a
flask on the water to fill it, then on the berries to
cool them. Then grab
one, or all of them if you're into clearcutting. In
any case, head N into
Herb's pad. Get the fertilizer, get the stool, get
the flask. If you talk
to Herb or the frogs, they'll feed you a line of bullshit about buried
treasure. It's bullshit. Don't sweat it.
W. Push on the tree that looks like it's been nearly
chopped down. Surprise!
It falls across the quicksand. How unpredictable. Get the skeleton key
and go W. Look in the tree. I'll be dammed if there
isn't another hidden
item in a tree. It's a portable cauldron! But look at the cool FX as it
materializes. Wow. Like to see you Fins
(Finlanders?) do that. Now, feed
an onion to the crocidile. He starts to cry. Gee,
another shocker. Click
an empty flask on the puddles. Wowee, you've got reptile tears. Head N.
Hot springs! Grab the yellow rock at top left (sulfur), fill a vial with
hot water, and then -
Make Yo'self Some Swampsnake Cookin'
1. into the cauldron, dump (in this order)
a) the gnarlybark (windy = gnarly, woof = bark ... get it?)
b) the sulfur
c) the onion
d) the reptile tears from the croc
e) the small wooden stool (stool o' Herb's toads.. toad stools..)
f) the hot water you just now got
2. The water should turn as bright green.
3. Fill up to three flasks with the potion (though you only need 1)
S. E. E. E. E. E.
Into the cave!
Click on the mouse. Click a green potion on yourself (making beautiful
Zanthia look, for a moment, like Sandra Bernhard). The mouse runs off,
you head east.
In the skull room: clicking on a tooth makes it flash a color. Now aren't
you glad you wrote that pattern down like uncle Typhoon taught you?
The skull opens. Use the skeleton key on the chest. The chest opens. In
the chest you find an Alchemists Magnet (yeah, you say 'Whoop-e-fuckin-do'
now, but just you wait) and some moldy cheese. Real impressive chest, huh?
W. W. give the cheese to the podunks, who will do podunk things.
W. S. S. give the bag of fertilizer to the lower plant's
mouth, who will then
free Marko. Head E. unless you want to talk to the poor loser. Get the
anchor. With the alchemist's magnet as your active item,
click on the anchor.
W. N. Talk to Boner, who has burned down the ferry. Boner is so effective
as a mailcarrier I understand RiSC is begging him to distribute warez.
He's lost four letters and, for reasons known only to Westwood Games, you
have to go find them for him.
**From Boner, the letters are located as follows: **
Letters One and Two:
W. W. Get the letter in the skeleton's hand.
W. N. Get the letter in the center of the bottom-left quarter.
S. E. E. E. You're back at Boner the RiSC courier.
E. E. S. Get the letter at the right base of the tree
N. W. W. Back to Boner!
S. S. E. S. Get the letter on the roof of your house.
N. W. N. N. And you're back at Boner.
Give him his letters (each time, he asks for the remainder- what a putz)
and you're set.
He leaps up, says "Hop on!" (though, personally, I'd much rather hop on
Zanthia) and off you fly.
You go flying through the air, have a brief conversation with Boner which
involves dumb coder humor that really isn't funny at all. You land in a
bale of hay in a bit of naked humor that I would appreciate a lot more
if she was, in fact, naked. Anyways, she pops herself a new wardrobe and
sets off to solve this section, too.
Click on the haystack and get the flask.
S. Get bowl. Get vinegar. Give letter to Farmer Bob.
W. at some point, you'll see another dumb Marko the Moron midgame.
turn valve on pipe. remove stick from wheel. dynamo will crank, generating
electricity that powers the coders of Hard Vacuum (coming soon).
E. E. get alchemy magnet. click on elephant's trunk. harvest a bounty o'
lettuce and radishes.
W. N. from the haystack, a ghost may emerge. If he doesn't, wander offscreen
and back. He'll appear and talk for a second. Click the empty flask on him
S. E. click ghost flask on scarecrow. He'll run off like a crazy Scandanavian.
W. W. Click radish on the bowl under the hand. Click the water bowl on the
stone bowl, scooping out the ground radishes. Click the vinegar on the
water bowl of ground radishes. Boom, you got your mustard.
E. N. Click the flask on the baby sheep. Boom, you got milk. Get the wheat.
S. Enter the basement. Pour the flask of milk into the cheese machine.
Use the machine and get cheese. Also get all four horseshoes and scissors.
Exit basement. W. Stick the wheat in the stone bowl and scoop it out with
the water bowl.
Time for the sandwich spell.
1) Into the cauldron, dump
b) ground grain
2) the cauldron should glow green (or whatever)
3) click a flask on the cauldron. The flask will have a sandwitch in it.
4) click the flask on you. You now have a sandwitch.
Touch a horseshoe on the electric dynamo. Now it's magnetic! Weeeeha.
E.N.E. drop the sandwich on the ground.
Enter the City. Get stick from mouth of seahorse.
N (not into the mustard shop). tavern doors won't open until you punch in
that annoying color code again. Do the code thing (aren't you glad you
wrote it down?) and enter. get mug, click it on the keg. drink the mug.
repeat until you are no longer amused by Zanthia burping. Then fill it and
keep it with you. Get taffy from the barrel at lower left. Wander around
until Pudgy the Swede recites his limerick. then try to leave, go to the
podium, recite your poem (where did they get this shit?) and leave.
Go back in. It's a fight! Unfortunately, you can't join the brawl. Click on
the guy in the white and blue striped shirt twice. He'll lose a tooth.
Click the alchemy magnet on the tooth, pick the tooth up and then click
the alchemy magnet on it again. Otherwise, he'll take it back when you
try to pick it up. Leave.
Now would be a good time to save in case you screw this up (not hard). Set
down one of the horseshoes with the two prongs up (I used the non-magnetic
one) and give the squid the gold tooth. He goes into his song and dance.
Pick any shell. You'll be right, and he gives you two teeth. take one and
play again. You'll end up with three gold teeth.
S. W. W. S. Give bowl to the dragon. Take it away again. When he bawls like
someone who doesn't know what Hard Vacuum (tm) is, fill a flask with
his pathetic lamer tears.
W. click each gold tooth on the stone bowl.
E. N. E. E. E. get everything at the lower left of the screen except the
Top E. click taffy on rabbit's foot.
E. click stick on vine. From now on, I'm just going to assume you know how
to do this everytime I tell you to go through this screen.
E. Make the skeptic potion like so:
1) click the orange peel on the bowl. click the rootbeer on the bowl. Now,
you have sweet-n-sour sauce.
2) toss the U horseshoe you used on the squid in the cauldron.
3) toss the taffy w/the rabbit footprint in the cauldron.
4) toss the sween-n-sour sauce in
4) toss the dragon tears in
5) the cauldron should turn purple
6) fill your flasks and click each flask on the altar, which will give you
a brief graphics bonanza (nothing compared to Hard Vacuum (tm)
coming soon) and activate the potion.
W. W. go to the fish, give potion to the sheriff.
W. enter the shop. give the potion to the shopkeeper. then give him all three
gold pieces, and take your travel voucher.
E. head to the fish.
If you're out of Skeptic Potions, head back to the altar and activate
another potion by clicking a flask on the cauldron (which should go dark)
and then clicking the flask on the altar. Then head W. W. and to the fish.
Click the magnet on those three gray pixels in the water. It's a key!
Enter the fish thing. Marko the Moron has been imprisoned! Hooray!
Unfortunately, you can't just let him rot in there (much as I tried).
Click the key on his cell-lock. You get thrown in the other cell. Click
the magnet on the key. The sheriff will come and throw the key out the
window. Click a couple times on the rug in Zanthia's cell and she'll
unravel it. Marko the Moron just happens to have a hook on him (what're
the chances of that?) that he ties on the string. Click this fishing line
on the window and catch the fish. Take the key. Unlock yourself. Unlock
Marko the Moron. Leave.
Lower E. Give potion to the captain. Give voucher to the captain. Hide your
magnet in the coil of rope. The game takes care of getting you to
Volcania, throwing you off the ship (I wanted to see her white top wet, but
noooooooo) and putting you ashore with only your alchemy magnet. Time for:
*** Part Three
Now this is a really annoying scene, with really no other purpose than to
pad the game out. Once ashore, take everything. Walk around the whole
island, making sure you get all the heavy rocks. Fill the rest of your
inventory with sand dollars (you need six) and as many of the starfish
and seashells as you can. Then go to the counter with the man and woman
(get the flask there) and talk to them. They'll give you a promotional
pen, which you need to keep. Give them the six sand dollars, and then
give them whatever they ask for next, and whatever they want after that.
You may have to go wander around until you find as many as you need.
After you've done all this, you find out that most people just jump down
the hot air vents. Now, if you try this before you they tell you, she gets
caught in the air and does a brief Marilyn Monroe impression (!!). But now,
having spent so much time wandering around, you're able to jump in them.
Padding padding padding.
So jump down an air vent. Now you're in crystal land, with a hip new
Go top-half east on the bridge. Get the stick, the rocks, and click on one
of the crystal trees to get 'crystal tree fluff' (I told you it got stupid
after the first half).
N. Get everything you can. click your trusty stick on the stegosaurus, who
has surprising canine tendancies. Do it twice, and a big chunk of rock
will fall and block one of the holes in the snake's head. Now there's a
huge air plume. Go ahead! Jump in! Now you have two black pebbles for the
Teddy Bear spell.
W. W. W. Get the flask and a rock.
E. E. use alchemy magnet on the heart-shaped lead rock.
Now, it's time for the Teddy Bear potion:
1) in the cauldron, toss:
a) crystal tree fuzz
b) gold heart-shaped rock
c) black pebbles
2) the cauldron will turn blue
3) click flask on the cauldron
4) click flask on you
With the Teddy Bear in your possesion but NOT as the active item (this is
the ultimate bullshit) click on the T. Rex. You'll use the Teddy Bear as
bait and ride the T. Rex around. When it's over, you've got a red piece of
W. If the triceratops faces E, leave and re-enter until it faces NW.
Then, go to the door. Click the red cloth on the triceratops. The big lug
will bash down the door. Then there's a dumb midgame sequence with Marko
the Moron and Faun. When it's all over take the parchment.
Now, take the stones you've been collecting and walk around, plugging the
little lava tubes that stick up. When you've done them all, go back to the
triceratops room. The large lava tube at the center of the room should
be pulsating like it's about to spew, and when you click on the island in
the center it'll blow and you'll be catapulted to the next section. If you
step on the island and nothing happens, you haven't capped all the small
lava tubes. Go wander around some more.
In a huge plume of lava, you're catapulted into the upper atmosphere and on
to Tree Level.
*** Part Four
On Tree Level, Zanthia changes into a lovely hiking number before setting
out to take this level, too.
First, get the pinecone. Then click on the hole you just made - there's a
W. Get the moss. Get it again. A rock will start rolling around. Get it.
Get the twigs at lower right, and the snowball from the bank on the left.
E. Click the twigs on the flint rock. Click the rolling rock on the flint.
Get the rolling rock and the charcol.
Make the snowman potion:
1) Into your ever-useful traveling cauldron, dump:
a) the snowball
b) the charcol
2) it should go light blue.
3) click the flask on the cauldron- it should be l. blue with snowman
W. click the potion on the night. Click on the hole in the castle to get a
W. click alchemy magnet on the statue. Zanthia correctly will say "What does
that box have to do with that statue?" It has nothing to do with it, it's
just another one of the click-everywhere puzzles bored Westwood designers
threw in here. Rest assured, Hard Vacuum (tm) (coming soon) will have no
Get the toy drums and the jack from the box.
Click the jack on the foot. You'll also learn a bit about the whole plot, but
considering how lame the plot is, I'd recommend ignoring it.
Also, remember to get the acorn on the tree at lower left, next to the
E. E. Click the drums on the stump (you'll go E).
Click on the tram. The squirrel will then decide to take his break. Give the
guy the pinecone, the walnut and the acorn. Then click the rolling rock
on the wheel. Click on the tram again and you're off.
There's another dumb Marko the Moron midgame, and Zanthia ends up climbing
the rest of the way.
*** Part Five
Zanthia, in deference to the cold, gets rid of that lovely tank top and
becomes the finest ski bunny yet to walk an adventure game. Alas, now the
game gets really silly.
Get the feather duster and the broom.
Enter the lodge. Click on the bull (you'll get musk), the shelf (flask) and
the three cannonballs.
Leave. Use the alchemy magnet to turn the cannonballs to gold, and give one
to the mother. Then steal the sucker from the kid (kinda heartless, huh?)
Pick up a snowball from the snow at right.
Time to make the Abominable Snowman potion.
1) Carelessly chuck
c) feather duster
into the cauldron
2) it'll turn a yellowish urine color.
Quaff the potion. The kid and mother aren't surprised, apparently,
but enter the lodge. The game will segway unsurprisingly as the actual
snowman falls in love with you.
In SnowBoy's palace:
get candy, get cologne, get feathers from pillow, get flask from his bar.
Exit onto patio. Get icicles.
Make a second potion, with icicle instead of snow, cologne instead of musk,
feathers instead of a feather duster and candy instead of the lollipop.
Use the icicle on the wall. SnowBoy will come out and haul you back in.
Exit again. Hunters will be afoot. Wait until you can click the potion on
them (you may need to walk closer to them).
Climb up using the icicle. You'll walk E and down to the cabin.
Enter the cabin. Would you look at that, it's the rainbow plant! And there
are seven orbs you need to fill to heal it! And you DON'T use that list
of colors you've written down. That alone just saved you an hour figuring
out what colors go where. The correct order of colors is ROYGBIV, and you
must mix a potion for each color. You're supplied with every spell
component you need, so I'll be brief in my description of how to put the
Red- Flying Shoes (hot air+feathers+red leather folio)
Orange-Sandwich (make mustard (ground radish+vinegar) +ground grain+lettuce
Yellow- Snowman, Abominable (snow+musk+feathers+sugar)
Green- Snakescare (gnarlwood+sulfur+onion+reptile tears+wood stool+hot water)
Blue- Teddy Bear (crystal palm fuzz+lead heart (change to gold w/Alchemists'
magnet before using)+2 black pebbles)
Indigo- You have to invent this yourself. I'll save you the trouble:
Violet-Skeptic Spell (horseshoe+rabbit foot print+sweet&sour sauce+reptile
The plant is healed! Leave the cabin, get an icicle from the right corner of
the roof, click the icicle on the house to climb it.
*** Part Six
So you meet the hand and fight, and she changes into the Rambo outfit (!!!)
After it's over, head E. S. It's the Wheels o' Fate! yeeeha!
Click the alchemy magnet on the satellite dish on the roof that's reflecting
Enter the control room at up left. Check out the equipment- you need a gear!
Head to the OOO s at top right. This is a puzzle! It's the inverted towers of
Hanoi. You must click on the disks and move them all into the other towers.
You can only place a larger disk on top of another disk.
When you get all the
disks in the middle one, the middle mouth opens and out
pops a gear. When you
get all the disks on the far left tower, out pops your stick.
Exit. Then head to the control room again. Put the gear on the spindle and
SAVE THE FUCKING GAME!! This is the last point you can save before the
game will set the room clear and clear your possessions. Then read the
next paragraph before you continue.
Then click the stick on the gear and lever it into place. Out comes the Hand,
carrying Marko the Moron, who's gotten himself into trouble yet again.
The Hand will charge after giving you a second to move. Click down at the
lower left corner as if you were exiting. The hand will charge and you'll
run along the control panels to the other side. For the next round, click
on the bottom of the Hand's fingers. You'll run forward and sumersault
under the Hand as it leaps up to get you. Next round, click behind the Hand
at the railing and you'll run at the Hand as Marko helps you throw it off
Then there's a long game end that just screams "Sequel", and if we're not
playing Hard Vacuum (tm), coming soon, we'll be here to write that solve, too.