Monty Python's Complete Waste of Time чит-файл №1

WARNING: THIS FILE CONTAINS SOLUTIONS!
                               
Ride Through

Loonatorium

First you must play Spot the Loony, the Loony Announcer will give you
some clues. After the Announcer tells you to "Pay attention to everything
you see", the bird man will fly out of the picture frame. Do not shoot
him so you are sent to the Penalty Box. After you have watched the skit
about the Spanish Inquisition you are ready to find the door. The door is
located by the picture frame, by the bar where the ant walks. Scan the
area with your mouse until you see the tip of the door. Click on the
door, then on the sign that says "Enter Here"
Go: Right, Right, Straight, Right, Left, Left you will now be asked the
Trivia Questions. [see Solutions bellow]
Now that you answered the 4 questions you have the letters MPFC on the
left side of your dashboard. Exit the maze and play one more game of Spot
the Loony. When the Loony Announcer tells you to enter the letter "R"
press the letter "R" on your keyboard. The Loony Announcer will be trying
to tell you something, but the cat has got his tongue (not this cat).
What he is trying to tell you is to press the letters you got from the
maze. So on your keyboard press the letters MPFC. You have now completed
this lobe.

TV Room

The door is located in the TV. It is right after the program about
Tchaikovsky. You can change programs by either clicking on the knob on
the telly or by using Pythonvision. Pythonvision is accessed by clicking
on the right button on the telly. To get to the door with Pythonvision
scroll down to the Exploding Penguin and then click on it.
When you enter this maze the first thing you have to do is turn around.
Now go: Left, Straight, Left, Right, Straight, Right, Straight, Right.
Now you have to turn around to get the Trivia Questions. [see Solutions
bellow]
Now is the time to blow up everything on the mantle and on the top of the
TV. You will blow up a total of 10 thingys, 9 on the mantle and the dish
on the T.V. When you have blown up the 10 thingys the announcer will come
on the T.V. and tell you, "And it's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the
penguin on the top of your television set to explode." This is your clue
to set the bomb which will come out of the back of the chair. You need
to click on the bomb to extend it. When the bomb is extended you may
enter the numbers you got from the maze, to do this click on each number
until you have the number you want. After you have entered the number,
click on the clock. BAM one fried Penguin. You are now finished with that
lobe.

Portrait Gallery

To find the door click on the picture of the Larch tree. You need to
click around the middle of the trunk.
The first thing you must do is turn around. Now go: Right, Straight,
Left. You will now be taken on a roller coaster ride to the top of the
"L". Now go Right, Left, Left, Right, Right. There are the Trivia
Questions. [see Solutions bellow]
Exit the maze and watch The Money Programme. Pick up the coin that landed
on the floor and place it in the coin slot. The picture will now change
to a slot machine, pull the lever. The object is to put the pictures from
the maze in order on the slot machine windows. You do this by clicking on
the window when that picture comes up. Easy right? What you have 4
pictures and only three slot windows, this could be a problem!? THINK!!
OK I'll tell you. The first 3 pictures go in the first three windows,
when this is done correctly the windows will start changing pictures
again, set the middle window to the 4th picture.

Corridor

First you must get rid of the Whizzo Banners. To do this click on them in
the following order:

left purple banner with yellow letters
yellow banner with black letters
middle lavendar banner with purple letters
right purple banner with yellow letters
white banner with blue letters

The pinball game will start up, click on the off button to get rid of it
for now. The door is in the middle back arch, just above the cross bar
and a little to the left.
After entering the maze go: Left, Left, Left, Straight, Left, Left, you
are now on the top of the "I" and there is a lift. Take this lift up.
This lift will bring you to the middle of the left side of the letter
"B". Go: Straight, Left. You are now at the bottom right of the "B".
There is a lift for you to take up. This lift will take you to the upper
left corner of the "A". Now go: Left, Right, and take this lift up. You
are now going down the first "L", you will see a lift, take it up. This
lift will take you to the last "L" going down. Turn Left. You will now
see a sign that reads, "Pay attention to Everything" Eric will start
doing his imitation of a trombone. Listen to him until he is finished.
When Eric is done you will get the Trivia Questions. [see Solutions
bellow]
Let's play a little Pin Ball! The object is to hit the four essential
clues in order. To do this do not use the flippers, but use your mouse
pointer which has now turned to cross-hairs. Click on the icons in order
and do not click on any other icons. After doing this correctly the pin
ball machine will disappear. A plane will fly through the window and drop
a bomb. Click on the bomb to release the foot.

Test Your Skills

Go to the Gopher Game. Play the game and watch for the door to pop out of
the lower left hole.
After entering the maze turn around. Now go: Straight, Right, Right,
Straight, Left, Left. Now turn around and take this lift down. The lift
has taken you to the lower right leg of the letter "A". Turn around, Eric
will tell you "I see you got the hang of it". Take this lift down. You
are now on the word MOLE on the bottom of the left leg of the "M". Now
go: Right, Right, Left, Left, Right, Right, Left, Straight, Straight,
Straight. Now look what you have done, the bloody maze is stuck. Keep
clicking on the track until it starts up again. Now go: Left, Straight,
Right. See that red button hanging in space? Click on it and you will be
taken for a ride to the Trivia Questions. [see Solutions bellow]
You now have the 4 essential clues one of which is the madwomen with the
hammer, with the words 1st across her. The other clues are numbers. You
need to play the games in this order: The Gopher Game (play until you
reach the first number), The Pig Game (play until you obtain the 2nd
number as your score) and The Bird Game (play this so your score is the
same as your last number). Once you have completed these games the 3 sub
lobes and the Test Your Skill lobe will be flashing.

Pythonizer

There are two ways to find this door. After the Pythonizer animation is
drawn you can click on the only Larch tree that is visible and the door
will pop up in the lower left corner. The other way to find the door is
to click on the Meat Head Grinder to start him and the music. Then with
your mouse pointer scan the lower left corner.
Once the maze starts up you will fall off the track and into the sea!! A
sign will appear with the words, "SPACE BAR" on it. When the sign stops
swinging push the space bar on your keyboard. You will now be on a lift
which will take you back to the maze, and will be on the letter "M". Turn
around and go: Right, Right, Left, Left,Right, Right, Left, Left, turn
around and take this lift down. This lift will take you for a ride down
and then back up, but you will end up at the left middle side of the
"H". Now go Right, Right, Left, Straight, Left, Right, Right, Left,
Straight, Left, Turn around. You are now on the lower right of the letter
"D". You will see a lift, take it down. This lift has taken you to the
middle of the "G" Go: Right, Right, Left, Left. You have now entered
dщjр vu, you are going up the "R". Go Straight, Right, Right, Right,
turn around, Straight, Right, Left, Left. The maze is now stuck, just
keep clicking on it to get it started again. Now turn around and go:
Left, Left, Right, Right, Left, (you will see an impaled birdman), go
Left. The bloody maze is stuck again! Once again just keep clicking on
the track until it starts up. Now turn around and go: Left, Straight,
Straight, Straight, Left. Once again you are in dщjр vu, you are going
up the last "R". Go: Straight, Right, Right, Right, turn around,
Straight, Right. This maze just keeps getting stuck, keeping clicking.
When it starts up again you will get the Trivia Questions. [see Solutions
bellow]

Things are a real drag now. You have four icons as your clues. You are
going to play Spot the Loony around the Meat Head Grinder, so click on
him to start him up. Loonies will pop up around him. You need to spot
them in the same order they appear in the maze. Click on the icon and
hold on to it. Now drag the icon to the top of the Meat Head Grinder and
drop it in. Do this with all four icons.

The Brain

You thought you were done, didn't you? Go to the brain, all the lobes
are flashing, so now what do you do? Click on the new brain from Curry's,
that's the new icon in the upper left corner of your screen. Now you get
to play Simon. You remember Simon don't you? It is a game of follow the
leader. The brain will flash different lobes and play some really rude
sounds, you must click on the lobes in the same order. Play the first 3
levels by doing exactly what the brain does. On the fourth level just get
the first lobe right then just click all over the brain until the game is
finished.

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Trivia Questions

By the Number

How many blows on the head does Mrs. Scum receive?
1
How many times is the dead parrot beaten against the shop counter?

5
What is the number of unsuccessful encyclopedia salesmen?
3
How many body sections does the ant have?
3
How many years until Ken Shabby gets a brush?
5
What is the number of cars at the drive-in?
6
How many verses in the Lumberjack song?
4
How many Mounties sing the chorus (of the Lumberjack song)?
8
How many can can girls are there?
2
How many seconds of sex?
10
How many people are watching television?
1
How many lobes of the brain are there?
6
How many explosions are there in the exploding Blue Danube sketch?

11
How many Spanish Inquisitors are there?
3

Complete the Following Phrase

The first lesson of not being seen is not to ....
Stand up
Spam, bacon, sausage, and ....
Spam
I say, anyone for ....
Tennis
Your wife... is she a ....
Goer
Spanish ....
Inquisition
Ee Eecky ....
Thump
Nobody likes a ....
Benedict
[Note: This is the answer you must use for the game, however, us true
Python fans really know that nobody likes a CLEVER DICK]
Man with three ....
Buttocks
Old Nick the ....
sea captain
No time to ....
lose
Hello ....
Sailor
Hold your head and go ....
Waaaagh!

Just Questions

What mountain has the biggest tits in the world?
Mt. Everest
What is the first word in Storytime?
Hello
What did Rumpletweezer run?
The Dinky Tinky Shop
What problem does the Royal Navy have under control?
Cannibalism
What colour is the phone in the agrument clinic?
Gray or Green ( You can use either answer)
Who ate the crunchy frog?
Superintendent Parrot
What room is the Argument Clinic in?
12A
Which cheese was eaten by the cat?
Camembert
What company makes the best butter?
Whizzo
What does the Norwegian Blue have?
Beautiful plumage
What choir did the Polly Parrot join?
Invisible
How does Polly Parrot feel?
Dead
What breed is the killer cat?
Siamese
What currency is kept in the fridge?
French Francs
What currency is kept in the pyjamas?
Pounds
What can be recognized from quite a long way away?
The Larch
Name of the contestant that opts for blows on the head.
Mrs. Scum
Atilla the Hun's gift to the children.
Head
Flying banner brand name.
Whizzo
The Lumberjack never wanted to be this.
Barber
Dirty Vicar's real name.
Ronald Simms
Alternative to burning, burying, or dumping.
Eating
Full-time occupation of the cat influenza man.
Stapling machine