This walkthrough is copyright (C) 1999 by Marilyn J. Caylor. It may
be reprinted and distributed without permission as long as the original
content is not changed in any way, proper credit is given to the author,
and no profit is made from its distribution. I can be reached for comments
or corrections via email at email@example.com.
UFO's is a little known but very witty point-and-click graphic adventure
game published by H+A (Hoffman and Associates). They can be contacted at
http://www.hastore.com. or http://www.h-plus-a.com. There is some tobacco,
a smidgen of comic violence, and drug use involved (but in hilarious ways!),
so this is not a game suitable for young children.
In the game, you control a one-eyed purple alien who crash lands on Earth.
Your purpose in the game is to find the three items needed to fix your
engine. You traverse the great outdoors on a wacky quest to find
these items. This is a very short game, but some of the puzzles are
solved in unconventional ways. A lot of the fun in the game comes from
interacting with the characters and items. So I will include actions that
are not necessary to solve the game, but certainly make the game more
The "manual" for the game is very brief, so here are some quick tips to
help you along the way:
When you have an item in your hand, instead of dragging it to your remote
to put it in inventory, just click the right mouse button and it will
automatically put it in inventory for you. To retrieve an inventory item,
use the remote, click on the item, then click on an area outside of the
Right click your mouse to cycle through available icons:
Closed eye = inactive
Open eye = look (rarely useful)
Open mouth = talk
Closed eye platypus = inactive
Open eye platypus = use him on/with something
To save, load, resume, or quit your game, click on your remote, then click
on the big orange button.
PART I: THE FARM
Take the mud from the green part of the crashed spaceship. For fun,
click on the piggies to see where "the other white meat" really comes
from. Talk to them, and see how the power of your word makes them
cringe in fear! Go right to exit the pigpen. Holy crap, a chain
smoking chicken! Try talking to the friendly looking fella. Whoa, it
looks like he's got a foul mouth (har har). Touch him and try kick his
butt for swearing at you. Now that you both know who's boss, run as fast
as you can to the right.
Uhhhh, it looks like a platypus on crack! Talk to him and you'll
hypnotize him with your one-eyed good looks. Click the trap to free him,
and he will be your Valentine for always. Once he's free, click on him
again to see the interstellar version of a sado-masochistic courtship
ritual. Before you leave, take the patch of grass in the mud near the pond.
Go back to the chicken and truck (up arrow). Try to open the truck door.
It's locked, looks like you'll need a key. Take the path the leads to
the house (not the barn). What a nice doggy, try petting him. Now that
you've got arthritis, try talking to him instead. Then take the branch
sticking out of the tree stump. Have a peek (use the open eye icon)
inside the window, and hopefully you'll be enlightened as to the
importance of daily flossing.
It appears you'll have to get that key another way. Click on the door and
find out from that high pitched scream of yours that you're a girly-man.
In inventory, combine the mud and the grass, and put the new disguise on
the platypus. While the travelling salesman is trying to sell cheese to
Ma Kettle, you'll automatically snatch the key. Go back to the truck
(down arrow) and use the key on it. After your short journey to nowhere,
you'll have to find some gas.
This time, take the path towards the barn. Aha, another clan member of
the evil chain-smoking chickens! Go ahead, click on him and squeeze him
for all he's worth. Um... make that a she. Talk to her, and she mistakes
you for a complaint drop-box. Try to open the lock on the door, then climb
the ladder. After your stint as a punching bag, use the platypus on the
haystack, then the needle on the lock.
Once inside the barn, click on the gas can. The infrared on your remote
control thingamajiby must be dusty. Try to climb the ladder, and find out
you need to go on a diet. Talk to the horse, and he let's you know
what he really thinks of you. So get your stick out of inventory, and
whoop his ass. You should now have the gas can. Head back to the truck
(left arrow, then down arrow) and use the gas can near the truck door to
fill it up. Get inside.
This is the first of three action sequences in the game, and it is the
easiest of the three. Use the right and left arrows on your keyboard to
move between lanes. All you have to do is hit as many animals/people
as you can and avoid the rocks. You have to be quick with your fingers
though! As soon as you tally up enough road kill on your good/bad meter,
you'll reach the bar.
PART II: THE BAR
The Naughty Hog, huh? It looks like you crash landed right in the middle
of Deliverance (squeeeel like a pig). Take the fuzzy dice from the hood
of the truck. Go across the street to the bar (right angled arrow).
Another dog, and he's got lots of toys. Try to open the door behind him.
Give him the toys on the ground. Talk to the old lady and explain your
woes to her. Daisy the log doesn't seem to have much more sympathy.
As a last resort, feed platypus (platypus icon) to the dog. Hmmm, must
need more pepper.
Go left arrow, and you'll end up in the back area of the building. If
you're in the mood for some love, open the big trash bin on the right.
Well, now you'll need some rabies shots. Go inside the bar., and try to
take the tongs from the salad bowl (left of the cook). Use platypus on the
box to the right of the cook. You should now have the tongs.
Go through the door on the left. Touch the fat guy, and he rewards you
for molesting him inappropriately. Talk to him. Talk to the skinny guy
on the left, and he mistakes you for a Black Panther. When it shows up on
the screen, grab the ball on the pool table. You can use it 3-4 times to
hear different comments.
Go through the door on the right and you end up in the bathroom. Try to go
inside the far left stall, and find out it's occupied. Turn on the faucet.
Use the urinal. After your journey to the center of the earth, look inside
the urinal (and try to keep your lunch down). Look at the grafitti next
to the urinal. Go inside the right stall, and discover a quarter in the
toilet. Try to grab it. Use your tongs on the quarter. Exit the bathroom.
A short animation shows that the big guy doesn't like that particular song.
Go left. Try to talk to the bartender and Greybeard. Use the jukebox
and find out that it costs 50 cents. You need another quarter. Talk to
the gay viking guy to the left of the jukebox. He has a gold tooth. Use
the quarter on him, and he'll bite a hole in it. In inventory, combine
the quarter and the fuzzy dice. Now you can cheat the system!
Use the quarter on the jukebox slot. Press 6B, and "the" song will play.
After the bar brawl breaks out, and your impressive fighting skills woo
your new-found friends, you end up in the city.
PART III: THE CITY
Go across the street to the toy store. Notice the cowboy hat hanging
off the edge of the left side of the store. Try to get it. Take note of
the phone number in the window. Go inside, and try to pick up a toy.
Notice how Princess Leia admires the picture on the counter. After touching
too many things, she'll kick you out. If not, exit the store voluntarily.
Once outside the store, go back across the street to the phone (down arrow).
Use your quarter on the phone, then use platypus on the phone. Dial
555-6789. While platypus and Princess Leia are having phone sex, go back
to the toy store and take the picture on the counter. Once the phone
conversation is over, take the fuzzy dice/quarter from the phone and put
it back in inventory.
Go across the street to the two guys on the corner. Talk to the one
on the right, and he'll offer you a joint. Take it. (That's some
bulge he has there.) Touch the guy on the left. Maybe if you looked more
like a naughty hog he wouldn't have smacked you so hard. Try to take his
hat on the ground, and you get the same treatment.
Go inside the Grub City grocery store. Notice the price of the cereal you
need is $19.95. Try to talk to the cashier. Go right, and take a box of
cereal. Hmmmm, there's something fishy going on. Go left, and get caught
and kicked out by security. Once you dust the skidmarks off your butt, go
back to the phone (down arrow). Give the joint to platypus, and you have
yourself a brand new wrench.
Go across the street to the toy store. Use the wrench on the right knob
of the fire hydrant (you want to cause the water to shoot straight up).
Take the trash can, and use it on the water. Take the cowboy hat. Go
left towards the grocery boys again. Use the cowboy hat on the hat on
the ground to switch them. Now you have a grocery boy hat.
Go left to the pick up area. Touch grandma. Use the grocery boy hat on
the old lady. She'll give you two circus tickets. After she leaves,
take the banana lying on the pavement. Go back down the sidewalk to the
street corner. Then go past the grocery store up the sidewalk (right up
Go right to enter the circus area. Look at the posters (open eye icon).
Try to enter the tent on the left side of the ticket booth. Give the two
tickets to lady-man. Go inside the circus tent.
Go straight to the elephant in the cage. Look at the pill machine and
find out elephant tranquilizers are a quarter. Use your quarter on the
machine. After you free your quarter, put it back in inventory. Go
down arrow, and the elephant is no longer the oldest one in the world.
Go towards the janitor sweeping the floor in an elephant suit. He's just
to the left of the elephant cage. Talk to him. Take the bucket to the left
of the trash can. Go right. Try to use the beer spigot, and the German
says you're too young for beer. Use platypus on the cardboard clown that
says "you have to be this tall..." and while the German is distracted, get
your bucket from inventory and use it on the spigot. You'll automatically
fill it up. Combine it with the tranquilizer pill in inventory.
Go left back to the janitor in the elphant suit. Try to enter the private
tent. Give the picture of Drippy the Clown to him. Go inside the tent, and
discover the drunken bastard has a spaceship part that you need. And he's
out of booze, poor thing. Talk to him. Since he was so rude to you, give
him the bucket of spiked beer. After he passes out, take the horn.
Go outside the tent, then go left. The monkey is now performing. Give
him the banana to take his place. Here is where the second arcade
sequence starts. Take your time and don't rush through. Use your right
and left arrow keys to move, and the up arrow key to jump over the banana
peels. You want to position platypus so that he collects money in the
cup, and you have to avoid the banana peels or you'll slip and lose your
money. After a while, dollar bills will start falling so you can get
money a little quicker. The magic area is approximately between the cup
and the front of the red hat, so try to position platypus so the money falls
into this area.
As soon as you get enough to buy the cereal ($19.95), you'll automatically
go to the grocery store and get the second engine part you need. Then
you'll end up back on the farm again after hearing the two guys talk about
a UFO party.
PART IV: UFO PARTY
Go towards the house. Take the axe from the tree stump. Ooops. Well,
it wouldn't be the first person you killed today. Go inside the house.
Grab the bull head horn on the wall. Use platypus on the trap door
lid, and he'll hold it open for you. Go down. Go through the right door,
and you'll have an overhead view of the UFO jamboree.
Starting from the left side of the screen and going clockwise, here are
the different booths: toys, BBQ chicken, spaceship, kissing, shoe, and
arm pit music. When you're in a booth area, you can click the down arrow
at any time to get back to an overhead view if you want.
Go to the BBQ chicken booth. Try to take the chicken drumstick from the
grill to the right of the cook. Talk to him. Give him a quarter, and
he'll give you your chicken... bucket. An empty one at that.
Go to the kissing booth. Take the spring from the little kid's head.
Since old pa kettle isn't up to kissing his daughter today, you'll have to
use poor platypus on the girl. This is the last and most frustrating arcade
sequence of the game, and it's also timed. The first person who wins two
rounds is the master tongue fighter. If the timer runs out and it's a
tie, she still wins the round. It takes a lot of practice to get this one
right. Use the right arrow to attack, and the left arrow to hang your
tongue back. After you win twice, you'll get the piece of gum.
Go to the toy booth and click the gum on the toy flying in the air.
Use the chicken bucket on the misshapen kid. You now have control of
the flying saucer. Go right twice to the spaceship booth (and the big
breasted guy with two heads). Use the flying saucer to get the key, then
go left twice. The key should drop in the bucket of water at the bbq stand.
After another minute or so, you'll get caught playing with the toy and
the kid will have the control of the ship again.
After this happens, go to the arm pit music booth. Use the spring on
the silver ball hanging from the ceiling. Climb up towards the ceiling,
and your ball will magically fall into place in your ship. Go back to
the chicken booth, and the hot sauce box will now be open. Back at the
toy booth, put the bucket on the kid again, and use the flying saucer
on the hot sauce box. Fly the hot sauce to the two headed guy, and use it
on his chicken bucket. Sit back and watch the end game sequence.